Saturday, April 19, 2008

Behind "Coffee With Bandar"

I heard that many of you who don't follow Sundar's blog (i.e. everybody), had a difficult time understanding my earlier post on his way of taking interviews.
So to give you a bit of background on his blogging style, let me now re-tell his interview with me:

The following transcript appeared as Coffee with Bandar* here.
* Note: No animals were harmed during the making of this post. No coffee was wasted either, only time and energy were.

Sundar's blog is read all over our office.
The truth is nobody here could possibly ignore his blinding status messages, bolded and underlined signature in the mails, or his frequent and loud utterances of "make sure you read todays awesomely popular post in coffee-with-bandar dot com" punctuated in the middle of every conversation.
Hence I decided to have a small chat with him on why he is, well, so annoying.

Me: Mr. Bandar, how do you generate so many ideas for all the boring posts that you put in your blog? Do you read a lot?
Bandar: Yes, I do! Even last week I read the story of Three Little Pigs. But those are not the places from where I get ideas. I do pure research!
You see, I like to provide my audience with only quality content synthesized from hand picked blogs, so that they don't have to waste their time on them and instead waste the cumulative time reading my blog.

Me : But what you do, sounds like plagiarism!
Bandar : No, it shouldn't, because I have never heard of that word.

Me : Duh! Okay, How many page views do you usually get everyday?
Bandar : It ranges from zero to a few thousands. Sometimes when I am very bored, I continuously reload the page till the pageviews reach the three figure mark.

Me: Seeing your hit counter, it seems that you get bored very often...
Can you reveal to us how many unique visitors are there who have no work and don't care for their soul and actually read your blog?
Bandar: Well, it is a secret. Including you and me, the total count has now surpassed 3.
The third being my alter ego. Actually thinking of it, if I could teach my dog to read, it would increase the count by 43% !

Me: Wow, thats great!
Ok, I would like to put a graph of these stats. I am opening up Analytics in my browser, can you login ...
Wait a min! Whats that ugly thing doing in my Firefox?
Bandar: Thats my coffee-with-bandar toolbar! I just installed it in your browser when you were distracted by the mole on my left cheek.

Me: Holy monkey (no, not a racial abuse)! What do you need a toolbar for?
Bandar: The toolbar basically takes screenshots of all the pages that you visit and mails them to me. This way I can analyze what my readers really like and write posts on that.

Me : But it sounds scary. Is it secure? Are you sure it wont spread any viruses?
Bandar : How can it when that itself is a virus! He he he.

Me: Hmmm, you seem to think very deep. Do you consider anybody as a role model?
Bandar : No, None at all. In fact, apart from gastroenteritis, I am in perfect health.

Me: I think you got confused here. I asked if you emulate somebody…
Bandar: Oh yes, I truly admire Miss Teen Carolina! She is my mole mode, errr.. super model, oooops, role model. I am already emulating her in my blogs by writing nonsensical stuff...
Someday I wish to have a chat with her over a cup of coffee and would blog about it. Don't miss that post!

Me: Sure, and many thanks for doing this mokkai interview with me. Hope my readers stay bored after reading this.

1 comment:

Doobai Nair Kopi Shop said...

Entha patti, this is Nair, the owner of the chayya kadai where Bandar and you had kopi.
You peebelstole rendu cup that day when I was distracted by Bandar's mole in the back of his neck.
Naalekku mariyathaya athu tharum.

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Hi, I am Balaji, a software engineer who sleeps 9 hours every day.
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