A Quick Reference for "Coffee with Bandar"

If you are an ardent follower of "Coffee with Bandar" posts, you would often want to know what exactly goes into the mind of our genius reporter, Mr Bandarrrajan, when he poses his trademark questions to the "famous" celebrities.
Many times you would wish for somebody to explain the deep and hidden meanings behind those intellectual conversations.
Sweat no more, for I have compiled a quick reference guide for the three most repeated phrases that Mr Bandar uses in all his interviews.

Phrase 1: (Bandar to his readers) "I welcome our super ultra special guest for today who needs no introduction...".
What Bandar really means:
"My bulk mails to people who are really famous did not fetch any response. So I have to now resort to interview everybody who is anybody in my vicinity, who then grudgingly replies in one liners with smilies put at the end of each sentence to pass off as "cool" answers.
(Scratching his cheeks) I should do something about the mole in my left cheek, it seems to put off people..."

Phrase 2: "Hi [interviewee name]. Hearty welcome to this really special edition of CWS".
What really goes in the mind of the interviewee:
"What the heck is CWS? Why am I here? I shouldn't have agreed to answer his stupid questions for the sake a free cup of coffee.. I must first kill that NIT junior of his, who set me up with him. I wish Bandar's gastroenteritis would get severe and burst him out now."

Phrase 3: "What message do u want to give to the budding younger generation of readers who are at present not wasting their time by reading my blogs?".
What Bandar really means when he says this:
"Thanks for your banal replies to my canned questions. Even my dog which reads my blogs, would have got bored of it.
Heck, now I have to reload this post more frequently to make up for the page views lost due to this junk interview..."

What the interviewees really think when he says this:
"Holy grass! You must be really stupid to think that your readers (all three of them) are eagerly awaiting for my advise with bated breadth and yearning to follow it.
In fact, I would advise them stop reading your posts and explore other harmless methods of self torture."

PS:
1) Apparently Mr Bandar tried to take an interview of Blogger's product manager at Google, who then promptly quit his job and moved to Alaska to avoid meeting him. We will miss you Eric!
2) Don't forget to take a micro-xerox of this cheat sheet and keep in your pocket for ready reference; you may never know when Mr Bandar may catch you and force you to read his blog.